Man, fuck you, Healthy Choice Vegetable Beef Soup
! You totally suck! I didn't even dip my bread in you, that's how much you sucked! I only ate some of the potatoes and a few of the carrots! The tiny pieces of beef were so dry and flavorless that they weren't even worth eating! Also, your mother!
I was so disappointed when Wawa didn't have beef stew today. My Wawa has had beef stew on most Tuesdays. It's a pretty damn good beef stew, in my opinion. Hmm, you know what I should do? I should make a big huge batch of beef stew on Sunday (mine is way better than Wawa's), and then bring it to work with me for the rest of the week. I totally should! I also totally will never ever do that! It seems like I never have enough time to do anything. I'm not complaining, though (honestly, I am not) because my time is taken up by hanging out with my friends, and hanging out with my friends is, in my opinion, the reason for living.
Friends like Michelle! You guys, I hung out with Michelle
last night! A WEEK NIGHT!! I can't remember the last time I hung out with Michelle on a weeknight that we weren't on vacation. Oh wait yes I can, it was a few years ago when I drove up to her place in Plainsboro so that we could watch the season premieres of Must See TV. That may seem silly to you, but Michelle and I were college roommates, and that's what we DID, we watched Friends
, and we watched all of Thursday nights, and I missed Michelle and wanted to watch that shit with her. Michelle and I haven't lived closer than an hour's drive from each other since we graduated three and a half years ago, but she and Teege
got a place in Delran, which is only 30 minutes away, and I am the happiest little nerd about it. I went over last night, and the place is great. (Michelle always lives in better places than I do. I've only been in one place since college, though, and she's been in five (5).) We painted the insides of her kitchen cabinets. And then I sat in her and Teege's bed whilst she unpacked clothes. I couldn't stop smiling, I was just so happy to see Michelle on a weekday. I will get to see her all the time now! I will see her on weekends! She and Teege lived an hour away from each other for the past year, the year they were falling in love and all that, so they spent every weekend visiting each other, which I understand, I can remember what that was like! But now they live together and can spend the weekends with ME. And everyone else who wants to see them. Which is everyone, because they are two of the funnest people ever. But especially Jeff
and I are Michelle's biggest fans. And Teege isn't so bad himself.
I could go on and on gushing about Michelle and how happy I am, but maybe I'll save that for her birthday next week. I'm not sure what to get for her.
I had a Little Christmas party last week! It was pretty good, I think! I wasn't ready, though, and I spent too much of the beginning of the party finishing the food preparation, which should have been completed before the first guest arrived. (And I even cancelled making two (2) things, hummus and some veggie tomato rice salad thing). I will do better next time. Big ups to Chris
and Brian McGowan for helping out in the kitchen -- two of the brightest culinary stars I know, and I had them chopping vegetables. Also a thousand thank yous to Vince
for fixing the lock to my door, which happed to freeze or get jammed or something right in the beginning of the party, leaving my potential guests on the other, cold side of the door. And to Kelly
for bringing spinach dip, which lasted -- literally -- about ten minutes, tops. And to Mitch
for coming over a bit early and assembling furniture (!) for me. And to M
for coming all the way down from Brooklyn for the party. And to Manning
for picking their asses up at the trizznain station. And to other people who did favors for me I'm not thinking of right now. And to everyone for just showing up!
There were about thirty people in my tiny apartment! I think that's pretty good! I made three (3) batches of the mulled wine, and it all got dranken up! Mulled wine is good. Weird, but good. This is the third year I've made it, and this year on the Queer Eye Christmas special, the cooking guy -- I can't remember his name, but he's my favorite, he's so dreamy -- recommended making mulled wine at a holiday party!! I am so ahead of the queer curve that I can't even STAND it. (I also liked girls before it was trendy.)
Oh man, and my downstairs neighbor showed up! Here is how the scene played out, as told to me by Jeff and then confirmed by Michelle:(knocking at the door)Michelle: (from the top of the stairs)
Come in!guy from downstairs: (walking up the stairs)
Oh, hello, Kerry?Michelle:
No. If you don't know who Kerry is, why are you coming to her party?guy from downstairs:
I'm her neighbor, I live downstairsMichelle:
Oh! Your Christmas lights match Kerry's! (she says she doesn't know why she said this) guy from downstairs:
Actually, I just moved in. Those are my mom's.Michelle:
You live with your mom?
The weird guy from downstairs (maybe late thirties, early forties) brought with him a (opened) bottle of scotch, which was very nice of him, he just didn't want to come empty-handed, I suppose. I talked to him for a while in the kitchen, then Kate
showed up (all the way from North Jersey!) and I escaped. He didn't talk to anybody! Oh wait yes he did, but he was weird about it and freaked people out. He totally freaked out Manning and Tami by trying to talk to them about their piercings whilst they were making out or something (Manning and Tami making out in my kitchen during a party is another subject altogether), and then he tried to talk to Dave
about my remote control car and Dave LEFT, or something, I don't know, Dave jetted without saying goodbye (MAJOR FAUX PAS, DAVE, IT AIN'T A PARTY IF YOU DON'T GET DRUNK AND ASSAULT MY CAT). But then he was standing in my kitchen not talking to anybody, and my back was to him, and Ill
said something about him, like who is that mustachioed guy, and I said I don't know but I hope he leaves soon, and oh man I think he might have heard us, because he put on his jacket and left without saying goodbye! I feel really badly about that, poor guy. I hope he didn't really hear us. That was mean of me to say, I should have kept my big mouth shut. Ah well.
But so that's that! Nothing got too crazy, but I think it was a pretty okay shindig anyway. I can't wait until I have a house, then I will have parties all of the time.
All right, I have to get back to work. So long, suckers.