Seattle, Evening One

Man, I keep not talking about Seattle and it's been almost a month and I'm starting to forget so here we go!

FRIDAY, CONT'D:

That night we went to Jillians, which is a big huge bar with pool tables and . . . um, other things I guess. But we just hung out by the pool tables. In attendance were -- you ready for this? -- quent, famousmark, lordship, counterfeitfake, strangea, hybrid1013, banomi, and Doug. And Matt and Melissa, but I didn't talk to them much because I didn't really know them.

We played pool, some of us poorly. Like me, I played poorly. One of my games was decided by an accidental sinking of the eightball, or maybe it was a scratch on an eightball shot; I can't remember, nor can I remember if that caused me and my partner to win the game, or lose it. I think win. Nor can I remember who my partner was that game; first game was Abbie and she pretty much carried the team the whole time. Pee ess I was drinking.

Everybody was so unbelieveably nice and we all got along famously. And you know, that's something, isn't it? All these people I've never really met, don't really know all that well, and we all got along famously. It was a lovely night, and almost everyone got trashed on my behalf. [Mark and Quentin did their best to make up for those who didn't drink.] I was touched. Oh and one time I went up to the bar to get drinks, but I had four, which were too many for my girly hands? And a cute girl sitting at the bar first tried to offer help with my arrangements, and then when it was clear that it would not be physically possible for me to transport all of the drinks at once, she grabbed a couple for me and walked them over! Isn't that sweet? People in the northwest are so nice!!!!1

Doug drove because he's really awesome. He has an Explorer and man, I don't think I've ever been in one before, not in the back anyway -- THEY'RE FUCKING HUGE. Jesus. No one needs a truck BIGGER than this truck. I'm so happy Ford stopped making the Excursion. Anyone who bought an Excursion should be shot in the eye. So anyway he has this truck full of drunken lunatics, and he got pulled over! Oh man! We all got very quiet, and the cop made him step outside and take a sobriety test, but Doug was fine, and the cop let us be on our way. No ticket. Rock. Everyone was dropped off safe and sound, and I passed the fuck out. I drank water and took ibuprofen, though, so the next morning was o-kay!

Seattle, Day Two

Fjellanger and I had tentatively decided ages ago that we would see a Mariners game on Saturday; I wanted to see SafeCo Field, and I hadn't been to a baseball game all season. But they lost to the Angels 7-1 or something on Friday, and we made new plans to see a sporting event Saturday night, so we scrapped the ballgame plans (they ended up beating the Angels that day after all, the bastards). Saturday morning we had McDonald's breakfast, because McDonald's breakfast is one of the best damn breakfasts to have the morning after drinking. Diner food is good too, but not as swift. I think maybe it's the grease that cures what ails ya. Fjellanger went while I took a shower and whatnot, and get this -- the menu is different! OMG! I thought McDonald's was supposed to be universal, was supposed to unite us as nation! The number 5 over there is BREAKFAST BURRITOS!! I don't even think we HAVE breakfast burritos at the McDonald's over here! Man, what an exciting vacation discovery! Seriously, though.

We went to Marymoor park, because I said I wanted to be outside and people-watch. We found the RC field, where all these dudes had radio-controlled planes. It was rad, they were doing tricks and stuff. And there was a sign that said "PILOTS AND THEIR ASSISTANTS AND ALSO THEIR DOGS ONLY" because it seemed like everybody there had a dog. Also there were RC helicopters, which didn't seem as fun, because they just went up and down, up and down. Fjellanger took this opportunity to explain how helicopters work, or something, I'm not sure, I wasn't really paying attention.

He tried to show me a lake, but he couldn't find it. So we went to a grocery store and bought strawberries to eat. Just as it was in New Orleans, my appetite was way down from all the pot I wasn't smoking. Then I think we took naps, I took lots of naps, which is as it should be, because I was on vacation, and that's what vacations are all about, napping.

That evening we went with Doug and Naomi to see a UW football game. They're the Huskies. (Yoo Dub, not Doug and Naomi, that would be just mean.) They say "dawg" a lot. (UW paraphenalia, not Doug and Naomi.) Oh man does that rule. Dawg. And there's a real live Husky that they showed on the big screen, he has some froo-froo name like Prince Renoir-Lafayette, except froo-frooer. I asked Doug if anyone had ever stolen him like they do in those crazy teen sex comedy movies, but he said he didn't think so. There were MAD people going to the game, and they were all old, which I thought was really weird. Rutgers has a really really shitty football team, AND it probably doesn't have as locally-concentrated an alumni population, so we don't get that many old heads at our games. Or maybe we do, what the fuck do I know, I never went.

I had a Polish dog. It was Band Day, which meant that there were three million local high school bands there for halftime; more importantly, it meant that there were lithe highschool CHEERLEADERS milling about near where we were eating our Polish dogs. In very short skirts. And we were sitting on the ground. I'm going to jail.

The stadium was big and gorgeous. So big, and so gorgeous. It's about twice as high as the Rutgers stadim (okay, I went a few times), and we were real high up. The right side was open, and beyond that was . . . water. Again, not sure what body of water it was, but boats could pull up and watch the game supposedly, though I don't see what kind of angle they would have . . . the city was to the left, and the gorgeous university buildings stuck out. The university is gorgeous, by the way. The sun set over the city; as it did it turned the water lavendar and the boats a pale green. Then the moon came up. Oh. My. God. It was a full moon that night, and the moon came up big and orange over the MOUNTAINS. Like, it comes up from behind the mountains, which take a jagged bite out of the bottom; then it rose a little above and painted an orange streak on the water. Man. What a ridiculously beautiful football game. It was cold and we all had blankets, I sat on one. I talked to Doug about football a little, and man oh man did I like Doug and Naomi, a whole freaking lot. We got along real real well and talk came easy and . . . yes. Very nice, very nice indeed, and I'm so glad they invited us.

The halftime show was pretty impressive; the whole fucking field was FILLED with bands. It was fun to watch the white gloves of the conductors or drum majors or whatever, they weren't in sync very much. And then all the cheerleaders came into the middle of the field with shiny pompoms and danced to (swear to God) Eddie Murphy's "Party All the Time". It actually looked pretty cool, and my amusement knew no bounds. Oh, and UW has a he-uge marching band -- they made a gigantic "W" out on the field in the beginning, it was very precise-looking and very big -- but they have a really really small dance/cheerleading team. Which was fine, because we were up so high we coudn't see their abs them anyway, but you know. At the Rutgers games, that's pretty much all I watched the whole time.

And the Huskies won! By like a million! It was a lot of fun to watch, they beat the crap out of the Wyoming Cowboys. Then we crept back across the river at about -5mph, MAN is traffic in Seattle a bitch. I fell asleep on the way home. It was . . . my best night there, I think maybe (sorry Elvis!). And no alcohol the whole day! See, I'm not a drug fiend after all.

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STOP GIVING THE BALL TO GARRISON HEARST