I miss Spaz

Jul. 9th, 2001 01:52 pm
littlewashu: (Default)
[personal profile] littlewashu
Saturday I went with Michelle and her friend Carla to see an Opie and Anthony roadshow in Asbury Park, NJ.

If you don't know who Opie and Anthony are, then by God, let me tell you, because you're missin out. They are two radio "personalities" who do a talk radio program. I started listening to them while they were on New York radio, while I was at Rutgers. I was very very sad to leave them behind when I moved down here, but a month or so ago they finally got syndicated and a Philly station picked them up, and my afternoon drives have been immeasurably more entertaining since. You should listen. Siobhan can listen on 105.9 FM, "The Package" (man, what a lamo name for a radio station). Ryan and Asa can listen on 102.7, where I used to listen to them. Chibikitsune can (I think) listen to them on 105.3 FM. That's the Dallas station, and I know that foxy bitch lives somewhere in Texas. Everybody else, you'll just have to wait.

If you like Howard Stern, you'll probably like these guys. If you hate Howard Stern, you'll probably like these guys. I personally hate Howard, but I adore O&A. They're thirtyish, and are from Long Island, and they're really smart and funny. Yes, they have lesbians in all the time, and wiffle-ball bat contests (ew), and various gross sexual contests, but they're really funny. Be forewarned: you will hate them at first. Everybody hates them at first. I hated them at first. Manning will hate them always, but that doesn't matter, because he's too damn sophisticated for his own good. But listen to them -- they're on from three to seven here, it may vary where you are -- for at least a week. C'mon, the music on the radio SUCKS nowadays anyway. And if you listen to Classic Rock -- well shit, man, you have those records at home. Listen to Opie and Anthony instead.

They are the inventors, by the way, of Whip 'em Out Wednesdays. If you don't know what WOW is, let me tell you: you, as a guy (or appreciator of breasteses), put a "WOW" bumper sticker on your car, or just write WOW somewhere. We, as the friendly young ladies, will flash, or "WOW" you, on Wednesdays. Just to be nice. Isn't that the best idea ever? It's spreading goodwill around. When we were going down to the shore last week, and I was in Hal's jeep, I was so ready to WOW somebody (even though it was a Tuesday). But alas, no stickers.

So every once in a while they'll have a "roadshow", and for once, we were able to go, so we went. It was all right. I got to see Opie up real close; I said he was cute, but Michelle said "sure, in a really really dorky kind of way," but I sheepishly admit that that's my steez. They had a decent cover band called the Nerds, and a Lesbian Pool, and a dunk tank, and a freak box, and hot dogs. Opie and Anthony actually didn't do a lot -- they weren't broadcasting, because it was on a Saturday -- but it was still pretty cool. And it was, as I had predicted, about 90% guys. Easily the sausagest sausage fest I've ever been at. Only one guy asked me to show him my tits, though, so it wasn't nearly as bad as I had feared. Oh, and there was some Penthouse Pet there, I forget who. She had a LOT of hair, and really big tits, and really skinny legs. I took a picture of her.

We didn't do much -- just wandered around, soaking up the atmosphere, getting hit on by two guys in a "hardcore" band. Please. Not only do I despise that sort of music, but I object VERY strongly to the term "hardcore". Hardcore what? How can a genre of music be called "hardcore"? That's like calling a certain type of music "extremely". Or "very".

Anyhow, that's what I did Saturday: saw in person a bunch of people I've heard, or heard about, many times. There was an Ultimate Wet T-Shirt Contest scheduled -- and the intern Stinky kept asking us if we wanted to sign up, because as I said there were very few girls there -- but I didn't feel like getting naked just so I could not win the $1000 prize, since there were legitimately hot girls there. And besides, I had ugly sunburn lines on my boobs. Ooh, and right when we got there, some guy from the New Yorker interviewed Michelle and I. I hope he quotes us. I mean, we're engineers, and we love this slop; that's newsworthy, right?

P.S. I also saw the editor of Big Butts magazine, Mendhi ____. Sweet.

Date: 2001-07-09 11:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] calamityjon.livejournal.com
"They're thirtyish, and are from Long Island, and they're really smart and funny. Yes, they have lesbians in all the time, and wiffle-ball bat contests (ew),"

Wiffle-ball bat contests?

I am a naif.

Paul Revere

Date: 2001-07-09 12:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] littlewashu.livejournal.com
Okay, so they have this wiffle-ball bat. And girls come into the studio, and they take this wiffle-ball bat, and they . . . lord, there's no tasteful way to say this. They see who can, ah, hide most of the wiffle-ball bat. Then they mark the bat, and the next girl has to try to beat that record. Like when your parents would mark on the wall how tall you were, except much, much grosser.

Date: 2001-07-09 01:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] quba.livejournal.com
My friend had a dream like this. Except it involved monkeys. And they hurt him.

Bad monkeys.

I had just started art school at the time, so I went around and asked everyone if they would draw a picture of a monkey with a whiffle bat. I did this also at SPX. Jeff Smith drew me a monkey with a whiffle bat.

For my friend's birthday, I bound a book (in a graphic tech class) full of monkeys with whiffle bats.

He was scared.

To this day I collect monkeys with whiffle bats.

i tried to ignore this, but...

Date: 2001-07-12 04:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] king-kai.livejournal.com
WHIFFLE?!?!?!! what the sweet fancy FUCK is that? are we not MEN???? it's

Wiffle



Please be advised that "WIFFLE" and all images of or relating to any Wiffle Brand product are either copyrights or trademarks of The Wiffle Ball, Inc. Their use, for any purpose, is forbidden unless you’ve obtained express written consent from The Wiffle Ball, Inc. to do so. Which, for the purpose of this post, i have.

Re: i tried to ignore this, but...

Date: 2001-07-13 05:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] littlewashu.livejournal.com
I know, right? That was bugging the shit out of me, too. It sounds funny saying it "whiffle". And how many times did I spell it correctly above his comment? Like a million?

Re: Paul Revere

Date: 2001-07-09 01:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] illscientist.livejournal.com
Um, just to acknowledge: Paul Revere. Heh.

Date: 2001-07-09 12:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] illscientist.livejournal.com
Did they get rid of spaz? I haven't had an antenna on my car for almost a year, so I haven't been listening.

Date: 2001-07-09 12:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] littlewashu.livejournal.com
Yeah, they got rid of him sometime after I moved down here. The new intern is Stinky. He's much nicer, and a much more regular guy, and I don't think they fuck with him all the time. He seemed nice and smiley and friendly on Saturday, holding a pen and paper out to me: "Wet T-shirt contest? Please? No? Okay."

I have such a short commute home, though, it's hard to catch up on what I've missed.

Date: 2001-07-09 12:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] manningkrull.livejournal.com
>> Manning will hate them always, but that doesn't matter, because he's too damn sophisticated for his own good. <<

Hey, thanks for covering that, so I didn't have to.

>> I object VERY strongly to the term "hardcore". Hardcore what? How can a genre of music be called "hardcore"? That's like calling a certain type of music "extremely". Or "very". <<

I like this point very very much. Ha. Good work.

Date: 2001-07-10 01:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chibikitsune.livejournal.com
>>Chibikitsune can (I think) listen to them on 105.3 FM. That's the Dallas station, and I know that foxy bitch lives somewhere in Texas. <<

..So now I'm the nicest guy on the internet...
...AND a foxy Bitch.

How does this work exactly?

And I live near Houston, not Dallas.

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